With a cliché riddled video full of muscled gay men and bikini clad babes that would probably sooner penetrate themselves using a pair of hair-straighteners than actually have sex with him, Justin Bieber’s new single, featuring mime queen and retarded diva of the minute Nicki Minaj and lifted off his album Believe, is enough to make us want to give up on this music thing entirely.
Based around some ridiculous lyrics, a shamefully bad beat and my-balls-have-dropped-so-I-can’t-actually-sing-anymore auto-tuned vocals, the track is arguably Bieber’s worst effort to date. After a while, and this isn’t exactly a bad thing, the song fades away so that you barely notice it, but not quickly enough.
Minaj’s section is just as you would expect; twisting her neck and twitching her face like she’s having a fit Young Money’s favourite fuck-jar strings together predictably meaningless words just because they rhyme, and makes you want to slap her.
If Beaumont’s beat ever encountered these two we’d like to think he’d show them exactly what a good beat-down feels like.