EP Review: Conker B- Gimme A Lighter Blud

Everything you know about music will soon be questioned as this three piece from East Sussex take over your eardrums and attempt to assault them with as much aggression as possible.

Apparently a fairly well known term in the UK, ‘blud’ refers to a mate. So yes, it appears that the EP and title track are named after their love of smoking.

Conker B is a very experimental electronic hiphop group, who claim to be ‘Cyber Grime’ and ‘Future Core’. This reviewer had never heard either of those terms, but they both describe their sound pretty well. An overload of happy and corny synth and a fast white rapper with a heavy British accent are the basis of the music, with some basic drumming sounding quite electronic too.

This is some of the hardest music to write about, as the majority of the time you are just asking yourself ‘What the fuck is happening?’ The opening track Gimme A Lighter Blud has a very 80’s wah wah synth effect. The drum and bass then takes over, while the vocals are pretty much all about weed. The band do refer to Limp Bizkit, however it is in reference to Rollin’. They then tell kids to follow their advice and to smoke weed to become an MC. Not the best role models and not a high quality song to say the least. It appears that the group just aren’t taking it seriously.

Second track on this five song EP is named Long John and is similar to what Pendulum do by the way of the synth, drum and bass. It is a more serious song, however they mention things like swine flu, a wizard and putting a bird in a bar to make a crowbar. The lyrics may be trying to be entertaining, but from a critical perspective, it is just a little bit shit to be brutally honest. Immature and inexperienced are two words that spring to mind. However original is one that is pretty overwhelming and obvious.

The next song is once again a mind fuck. It is different to the two prior, as it is a bit of a ballad. Instead of a pop synth effect, it is a pretty standard keyboard leading the way, with what appears to be a legit guitar solo. The chorus has singing, as opposed to a slow rap that has been in all their tracks. The harmonies are ridiculously out of tune with each other, but I guess this is Conker B attempting to be emotional. The track is named Kiss Me If You Like.

Do Me Some Rollies. The instrumentation sounds similar to Enter Shikari in this strange (again!) track. The vocals are spoken word in a way. The chorus has a pretty decent melody, and the breakdowns are everything you want from an electronic artist. The impression of a mentally ill person is so out of place, as is the referral to Bugs Bunny, and the lyrics following that are just another reason to ask ‘What the fuck!?’

Final track on the Gimme A Lighter Blud EP is named I Don’t Have Time For You Blud. Fast rapping with pretty basic drumming (hi-hat, snare and bass drum) is nothing spectacular. Nor are any of the electronic samples of a horn or a trumpet, or the synth. The bass picks up and provides the ‘grime’ that the band speaks so much about, but it is hard to find the good in it.

So to conclude, Conker B are trying to be new age. They succeed in the way that no one else is really making that kind of music, but they fail in the way that no one actually wants to make it. Perhaps the music scene is different in the UK, but in Australia, hiphop is attempting to go back to the ‘Golden Era’, where rhymes were the way to express feelings and emotions. The only expression by Conker B appears to be a pisstaking of the entire music industry, and the love of narcotics. Maybe there is something more to it that is being missed. Maybe it is actually enjoyed in the UK. Maybe Conker B are the future of the industry. But if that is the case, this reviewer would much rather gauge his eardrums out with chopsticks.


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